Bridesmaid Backs Out of Friend’s Wedding After She ‘Gossiped’ About Her Breakup: ‘Felt Like One of Those Scenes in High School’

A woman says she has told her friend that she can no longer be her bridesmaid — or her friend — after she discovered that she was gossiping about her recent breakup.

In a post on Reddit‘s “Am I the A——?” forum, the woman explained that she recently ended her six-year relationship with her boyfriend, “and it’s been extremely painful ever since.” She said her soon-to-be-married friend is well aware of the breakup and “has seen firsthand how much I have agonized over this decision.”

This past weekend, the Redditor attended her friend’s bridal shower, where she encountered a dismaying situation. “When I arrived and started greeting other guests, I quickly realized that somehow everyone in the room already knew about my breakup,” she recalled.

She said that throughout the night, multiple guests — including people she barely knew — came up to her to offer “their condolences” and press for details about the breakup and her impending move out of the home she has shared with her ex-boyfriend. The maid of honor even brought up the subject several times in front of the bride’s entire family, making for an awkward atmosphere.

“The whole night felt like one of those scenes in high school when you walk into a room and notice people looking at you as if they’ve just been whispering about you,” the poster wrote.

Not wanting to ruin the event, she “played it off as best I could and tried to change the subject whenever possible.”

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Following her uncomfortable experience at the bridal shower, the Redditor said she “can’t help but feel really betrayed” by the bride-to-be.

“It feels like my friend used my painful breakup as gossip and shared it with a lot of people who shouldn’t know my personal business, especially since I’m not close with them in any way,” she explained. “Both my ex and I are real people with real feelings and our pain shouldn’t be used as party gossip.”

Unable to get past what her friend did, the poster said she decided to tell the bride-to-be that she “could no longer be her bridesmaid or friend,” which prompted her and her maid of honor to tell the Redditor that she’s “overreacted.”

“Now I’m second guessing my decision and worried I was too rash — I just simply can’t imagine treating a friend this way when they feel so vulnerable,” she concluded her post, asking, “Am I the a——?”

In the comments section, many people assured the poster that her feelings about her friend’s actions are “valid.”

“That was definitely a betrayal of trust,” one person agreed, while someone else chimed in, “You shared personal information dealing with your heartbreak and loss. She betrayed your trust and doesn’t deserve your support.”

Still, several others suggested that the woman’s friend may have had good intentions.

“Have you considered that this was not gossip and instead your friend felt bad about your breakup during her bridal shower so she let the guests know so that they could be mindful of your current situation and mental state?” one commenter asked.

“For all you know, she thought you might be depressed at a bridal shower and wanted to protect you from criticism,” another noted. “She clearly didn’t speak negatively about you. Everyone was trying to be supportive.”

Another person encouraged the poster to have an honest conversation with her friend about how her feelings were hurt and give her an opportunity to share “her perspective” on what happened.

“You just lost a long-term partner, and I think it’s a huge leap and a mistake to jump right into dumping a friend as well rather than approaching her first,” they wrote. “I think that while a lot of the other guests were really inappropriate by approaching you about your breakup, I don’t think that your friend did anything wrong. I don’t think you should punish her because other people crossed a line.”